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02/21/2003 Entry: "The Laundry Saga..."
Dictionary.com defines "saga" in the following way:
saga (n) : an narrative telling the adventures of a hero or a family
Today I am going to tell you about the Laundry Saga. The reason this qualifies as a saga is because a) it takes place over a very long period of time b) it involves a family c) it involves drama and d) it has a conquering hero. 
I have three children. These children are not yet old enough to operate a washing machine or dryer. Indeed, since the birth of my first child all those 9 years ago...I have wondered silently to myself at what age CAN they operate complex machinery? At any rate...I have fought an ongoing battle with laundry which has only intensified with the addition of each child. Throw my dh into the mix and we have a story of epic proportions. 
Today I did laundry. That doesn't seem unusual until you understand that laundry is an ONGOING process in this house. It *never* ends. But today I said...I am going to beat the laundry. I set out to do just that.
In my efforts to beat the laundry I learned a few undeniable truths.
1) Clothes multiply. They multiply more than my crawfish, and considering we only have one and she had 200+ babies, I think that's saying a lot. They multiply irreguardless of color, brand, size, fabric, or use. They just multiply...and then a good portion of them...generally socks...disappear. I think I actually read where this is supposed to be featured on Unsolved Mysteries sometime. 
2) No matter how many loads of laundry you do...there will be more. (and more, and more and more...until you are old, senile, and only wear one outfit for the duration of your life in an effort to protest laundry abuse--or maybe it's just because you are old and senile...either way) 
3) Just when you have closed the lid on your last load, you are standing there with a smug smirk on your face  , you are only moments from breaking into the victory dance  , invariably does someone in your household come scampering in with a handful of clothes they "just found" which invariably (again) will NOT fit into the washer  ...and unlike when you were a child and you didn't care about whether they would fit or not--heck if you had to SIT on the top of the washer to keep the clothes in that was fine by you as long as the clothes got wet, by golly they were clean--but no  ...as an adult you have to BEHAVE like an adult which means resigning yourself to the fact that you really do have yet ANOTHER load of laundry to do. 
4) This "just found" pile of clothes is really a secret government conspiracy to drive Mom's crazy. Kinda like the "Men In Black"... Except there are no aliens, there are no violent weapons, no huge roaches, unless you live in Florida, and then they call them "palmetto bugs" because roaches sounds too icky--and unfortunately these guys don't carry that little memory erase dohicky so you remember every vivid detail of every load of laundry you have done--including the "learning" one where you turned all of your clothes pink and had to go buy a whole new wardrobe...nah, these guys aren't nice enough to erase that memory...but they do sneak in your house after you have went through and gathered all of the clothes, after you have had your children seek all of the dirty clothes from all of the hiding places (under the beds, on top of the beds, in the drawers with clean clothes, in the bathroom floor, in the bathroom cabinet, in the toy box, in between books, but definately NOT in the hamper)--indeed, these goverenment officials (I believe they would be known as G.L.O.W.I.N.G.--Government Laundry Officials With Intentions Not Good  ) bring in the laundry they have some how managed to pilfer from your home (I'm thinking they use trained mice to do this...) and then coax one of your small children to come at JUST the moment when you were feeling victory over the FINAL load of laundry. I haven't figured out the purpose or what benefit the government might be getting from this. The alternative is that my children actually don't do a particularly thorough job of searching for clothes in the first place and in the process of playing, sorting, general mess-making, coloring, drawing, reading, or wrestling they discover some clothes and it is mere coincidence that they bring it to me at my joyous moment...nah, I'm pretty sure it's the government. 
Okay governement conspiracies aside...back to my saga which is...in spite of the final load that wouldn't fit--I FINISHED my laundry and that my friend makes me a HERO (again of epic proportions). If you have trouble believing it, I invite you to come and do my laundry for a week. My guess is you'd run out screaming after the third day and without a doubt would require ongoing therapy for a few years--and let's just be really clear about this, I'm not paying for your therapy. 
Okay so you know...doing laundry you spend alot of time standing in a laundry room folding clothes...so you know...there's alot of time to think. Maybe too much time. 
It has absolutely poured down rain, thundered, and lightened...hmm..is that a word? Anyways, it did all that (I know that anyways isn't a word--thanks) allllll day today. The wind was blowing so hard it was crazy...and yet...I really like it. I don't mind days like this when I don't have to go out. Well, I had to walk out to the laundry room, but ya'll know what I mean. Dh had to work today, he has cook duty this weekend which means LONG hours for him...usually from 4am until at least 6:30pm. He's sleeping on the couch now. 
The kids played games today, built a tent in the living room, and helped me bake fresh bread (a loaf of Hawiian and a loaf of Sourdough!). I woke up this morning to my oldest two scrambling through the hallway at warp speed because the thunder had woke them up.  They don't like thunderstorms. Which is funny...because dh LOVES them...and I'm pretty much impartial to them. As long as I am not outside standing in an open space with a lightening rod I can live with them. I don't like to be near windows, or anything but I am not particularly afraid of them. My kids are practically terrified of them. I have jokes I tell them about the thunder...like the angels up there bowling, or God pounding on the "floor" as he paces back and forth...or just funny stuff like that to lighten them up...they usually are okay and even laugh but the little hint of fear is still there. I wish I could make it go completely away but I usually can't. I often tell them that fear is not of God...that He never wants us to be afraid...and that if we do feel afraid we should just talk to Him about it and He will make us feel better. A prayer from a 6 year old who is scared of the thunder is about the most sweetest thing you could ever hear in your whole life...it's as sweet as a million doves cooing...and I've never known God to not come through by erasing that last little hint of apprehension that I couldn't remove myself. God's good that way. 
Well, I am off to bed. B wrote in here today and was so excited. He really thinks this is so cool...plus he likes the smilies lol He is on chapter 7 (Conspiracy at Sea--pg 67 I have been informed) in his book. I told you he would read all day today! 
I hope you are all blessed!
Sending tons of love to you all!
~A
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