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03/10/2003 Entry: "I spoke too soon..."
Wahhhh....I spoke too soon!! Both B & R have been running a fever and feeling major ickiness for the last 2 days. Poor babies. Everytime I give B medicine he throws it back up...he can eat or drink anything at all but can't hold down medicine which makes things worse. We have been giving him the chewable tylenol--but having him chew one, wait about 20 minutes, then chew the other, then 20 minutes and chew the other. No doubt this diminishes the overall effect, but it's the only way he can keep them down...if he chews them all at one time he throws them back up. I remembered once that R did that and I can't remember if it was tylenol or not--but she couldn't keep down the medicine I was giving her...I think it was tylenol--and then I took her to the ER and they gave her motrin and she kept it down fine...wonder if my kids just have some sort of strange sensitivity to tylenol when they are sick--they've taken it other times, like when they had sore achy growing pains or whatever and they don't get sick from it.
Yesterday dh went and bought me a (drum roll please) new computer chair!! YEEHAW!!!!!!!! This however--is no ordinary computer chair! This is called "an executive chair"...yup...that's right...and executive. Wowsa. Okay so ya, I guess I need to get a deskplate now with my name on it and the word "president" under it. Hey, if dh can power trip over Cub Scouts, I guess I can over my executive chair right? hehe I thanked dh for the chair as it is so soft and comfy and cushy and awesome that I'm in love--dunno how I lived with the one I had before and as anyone who has had the pleasure of sitting in my old chair (or flipping over in it--eehhrrrmmm...Wendy) knows that I didn't have the greatest chair...dh said that since I was "working" so much now on the computer that I should have a good comfortable chair to work in--that and (a direct quote) "anything I can do to help your butt out you just let me know"...what a charmer huh?
So today finds me busy as per usual. I'm not in any urgent madness right now because the reality of a housefull of sick children makes you slow down naturally. I do have alot to do though. I am ONE yes my dear ones I said ONE page away from being done with my big project. Then comes the hardest part...one I know that everyone will yell at me for but I really do have a hard time with this--and that is I will have to bill my client. EEK! I suppose it would be much better to have terms and conditions down before you actually do the work. I admit that is my fault--but also this lady is a CG Spouse...she's so kind and I have SO enjoyed working with her--however, when I spoke to her on the phone she told me that I had to be sure to place value on my work--if I were a car repair person, I would fully expect to be paid for my services for the quality and quantity of work I did if someone who could not change the oil in their car asked me to...she said this was no different...people who are not able to build websites have me do this for them--and I should place value on the services I offer. I get it, I really do...but still...haha Okay okay...my big problem is how much to charge...I told dh he could be my billing department and he could send her the bill hahaha Of course I know for sure that he wouldn't have any issue with that at all ha
I also am working to get the Cub Scout newsletter done so it can go out tomorrow. There are several last minute changes that have to wait until tonight as they have their monthly meeting tonight and I know there will be some info passed there which will need to go into the newsletter. I want it to go out tomorrow though so people get it by Wednesday. We shall see =o)
And finally--I have some household chores to do which I am not too excited about. Spring cleaning type jobs which I have a hard time with but really want to get done before dh leaves on his big trip. Time is passing too quickly and in a little over a week he will be gone for over a month. (wahhh again) To compound my nervousness about his trip and the current "air" of the CG--the morning he leaves he will be recieving the small pox vaccination. (have I mentioned I'm not especially excited about that? I think I have)...I don't like it. At all. And yet, they own him in a lot of ways. I love the CG, I truly do...and in most ways they have taken good care of us in spite of screw ups here and there (usually pay ones lol)....and the security of this job is something I am TRULY thankful for--as the last 11 years has seen our economy go up and down, and people we know have lost their jobs, been forced out, or have been let go so many times I have lost count--but that was never a factor in our lives as the CG doesn't "let you go" unless you have done something REALLY bad...SO...I am thankful for that...and for the benefits we have that others only dream of, and I am thankful that the last 2-3 years has seen the military get the biggest pay raises in ever--including raising our bah--in an effort to close the gap between pay for the jobs our service men do in comparison to the civilian sector. It is a great effort, but there is still a wide margin there which they admit may take 10 years to close to an acceptable level. Let's be real here...last year saw my dh gone 8 months. Seriously. It's crazy. Thus far since January the boat has been underway for 34 days. For the record that is out of 69 days. From now until June their schedule has them down for another 53 days underway. That's out of the upcoming 111 days. Pretty sobering when you look at it like that huh? Not to mention the fact that when they are IN port, they still work a workweek like normal. M-F. By the end of this year if things go as they are expecting I will have seen my dh approximately 1/2 of the year. BTW, less anyone believe I am, I am NOT complaining. My dh and I have worked around his schedule in a million and one ways...we still find time to do the things that are important...he still stays involved in our children's lives through their activities, our homeschool, and just being "one cool dad"...he still takes care of me in ways that he can--and when things happen and he can't take care of me he mourns...we are still madly in love with each other in spite (or sometimes BECAUSE) of our seperations--and we are fairly well adjusted to our lifestyle. Every time he leaves makes me love him more, he makes a sacrifice every time he walks out that door that I can hardly bear to contemplate. How would I react if my 3 year old daughter was wailing with tears streaming down her cheeks, clinging to my leg as I try to walk out the door "please don't go Mommy, please stay here with me, please don't leave, take me with you, I want to go with you"...well, I think I would die...but my dh walks out that door and somehow works through the emotions that happen over scenes like that however rare they are these days--they do still happen sometimes--and I wonder how he does that. I know God must give him some kind of inner strength to turn that emotion off because I *know* my dh--some part of him dies everytime that happens....and I don't know how he can stand it...he loves our children with the same fevor and passion I do. I know he hurts but he does what he has to do for many reasons, but oddly enough probably not the ones that most people would suspect. Most might say "because he has to" but I would argue with that. My dh LOVES his job. He LOVES the CG. He is proud to be in the CG and to be of service to his country. I can't see him anywhere else, and as much as I like to imagine he will retire at 20 years there is that niggling suspicion in the back of my head that giving up the Guard might be something he won't do on my prefered time schedule lol Sheesh, when we were 14 years old, and I still have this note, I wrote him a note asking him what he thought he would want to do for his life--and he wrote back to me that he wanted to be in the Coast Guard. Nah, my dh doesn't belong anywhere else at all. Besides that, he is GOOD at what he does, heck, I'd say he is one of the best. People actually request for him to cook lol The fact that he is an awesome cook aside, he is exceptional at the professional part of his job as well, the paperwork, the organization, the planning, preparations, money management, and all of the behind the scenes things people would not believe that goes on in the inner workings of a galley...but he thrives and he works hard and he is so good at what he does--and so when he walks out the door to go to that boat to leave for whatever time demanded, he doesn't "just do it because he has to"...he does it because he WANTS to...he CHOSE this...WE chose this together over 11 years ago. And finally, there is the part of him that walks out that door knowing that every time he does he is doing what God meant for him to do. He is taking care of me and our children. He is allowing me the opportunity to stay home and raise our children. He is supplying us with our needs. He is a good man that I am ever thankful for as I learn and grow, and when I see other's lives and the issues that grow within the walls of their homes I am even more thankful that I have a dh who will do whatever it takes to be the man that God wants him to be. I'm blessed, I never question that.
And now, I am off to go make lunch, and get some of MY chores done. After all, I can't sit in this nice, big, comfy, wonderful new "executive" chair all day now can I? hehe well, I could but I won't. There is a choice there haha
Be blessed!!
~A
PS...a picture to share this afternoon...as the children have been sick they have been living in their pj's so yesterday here was a sight dh and I saw and snapped a picture of that is one of those moments we both said we didn't want to forget...it was so cute and adorable, and it's hard to explain why really but maybe seeing it will help you understand:
She was picking out some soup to eat...and yes, Grandma, I was standing right there lol oh and note the bowls on the counter tops--we are growing lizards again lolol I'll be glad when the squishy little things die forever, however, the people who made them were too smart for that now weren't they?? ugh.
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