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06/12/2003 Entry: "I'm here...I'm here"
I can't even tell ya'll how many times I said "I need to get to my journal" in the last few weeks lol Sorry about being so long between entries...I wonder if you all might just stop coming thinking I am never going to be back lol
Well, today was gymnastics for the kids...they both are taking them now so I go over at 2 and we leave at 4. We went to the park for a few minutes but got rained out so we ended up at the Christian Bookstore again. The kids had alot of fun. We had spaghetti for dinner. I talked to my Dad for a while tonight which is always wonderful. I'm sure like alot of companies right now his is "restructuring" but the good news is his job is pretty secure. We played with his website for a while and I broke a few things here and there lol I fixed them don't worry.
In other news, dh left on Tuesday and won't be back for 2 weeks. He will be gone for Father's Day but will be home for his b-day. That's cool since he was gone for both of them last year. He also got the small pox shot when he left. ICK He told me the other day about the number of underway days his boat had for the last year...I can't remember now but I'm thinking it was around 260ish...maybe more and they hadn't really had the boat for a whole year yet. hmmph. Work has been going beautifully for him though and he has really taken command of the galley. AND he finally got a new cook who can *cook*. I know that's amazing isn't it? That has been a big help as you can imagine lol
We just found out that our friends are moving in August...our NEW friends. The ones we met a few months ago. They are moving to Texas. I'm heartbroken and it's not because of ME. It is because of B. Him and their son have been best buddies since the day they met. They have played together EVERY day when we are home. I'm just devastated. He has had to say goodbye to so many friends...he told me once it was hardest being the oldest and I asked him why and he said because he remembers everything and that means he hurts more than the girls. I know that is true, I moved once as a child and remember wearing black for a year lol He still remembers his best friend from Florida, Garrett, and that was almost 7 years ago! My heart just aches for him and while I want this family to be happy I am so mournful that they are leaving. The really selfish part of me wants them to stay because I know how hard it will be for B to lose them. (there are two brothers) Of course he has lots of other friends...some we see often and have sleepovers at their house and ours and stuff, but this was a neighborhood friend which is just really different. No planning, no who will pick who up when, nothing like that just...walk across the street and knock on the door, or answer the door when they knocked...WAHHHH SNIFFFFF KICK KICK KICK
I have been working with my new client and everything is going great. I admit I have a real love hate relationship with my own company. I love the work and I do love making websites but I admit fully that working for money changes everything. I don't have as much fun making the sites when I am getting paid for it. I mean I just feel different, my expectations are different and I actually find it feels like....WORK. (~gasp~) I am feeling a little overwhelmed by it too which is not a good sign since it's SUMMER...and we are on a break with school right now but I normally go straight through summer. I'm struggling with the thought that if I decide to stop doing this it is somehow failing. I *know* that isn't true--because I know it's not really quitting--but actually putting it off to a better time in my life. You know, I am far more excited by the prospect of working on a website with my Mom than any "for fee" site I can think of. That's pretty sad isn't it? Oh c'mon at the very least I shouldn't be so "eh" about making money right? lol
I talked to one of the most specialist women in the world last night for like 3 hours and was so blessed by our conversation...I love you Steph! I miss her so much...she is SO far away from me right now, and when I talk to her and hear her children I just ache to hold them. I haven't even gotten to smootch two of those sweet babies since they were born...they wouldn't even know me ~sniff~ They are so sweet I got to hear them say their night night prayers last night and I was just so "awwweeee"!! She and I can go forever without talking but it never changes anything...we talked about how we should all go to Alaska next (Dad get the smelling salts for Mom!) hehe I doubt we will but it's cool to dream...right now I'd go to Alaska if I could guarantee her and her dh would be on the island with us! Hands down.
I also got pics in my email from one of my dearest sweetest friends in NYC...and it was of her 7 months pregnant and looking none too happy lol Bless her heart...I just wanted to squish her (gently of course!) Oh if you could know the story of what her and her dh have gone through to get to this time you'd just be so in awe of their faith and strength. I admire them both so very much! I'm so sad that she will be having her baby shower next month and there's just no way I could ever get there. It makes me ache because I love her and her family so much and I soooooo want to be a part of this. I can't wait until I hear that baby...I'll just melt I know.
Well, I should get on to bed now, but I have alot of people floating around in my heart and mind right now...I hope you all know how much I love you and what a blessing you are in my life!!!
God bless always!
~A
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