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08/26/2003 Entry: "Control yourselves....it's an update!!"
Well, it's about time for me to get in here and write. I want these memories to be "in living word" for when my children are older...how I wish I had journals of my childhood and things that my parents faced as I grew up...and yet here's practically a whole month without entries...ahh...how to fill in the gap...lol
Brandon just came in here and was amazed that I could type without looking at the screen...so I am showing him right now how I do that. Cool huh? hehe
Okay so where was I? Well, first off I have a huge amount of memories about our vacation this year to visit all of our relatives from afar--alas, I don't have time NOW to write them all out...so my plan is to put a link up when I start writing them down and will leave it up as a permanent link to that entry that I can go to every so often and write more. Three weeks of family and all of the events and memories is way to involved for me to be able to write in a "single" entry here...so look for that...I will update it a little at a time and eventually it will have our whole vacation in it...I'll try to put up the beginning of it (taken from here) and add a bit to it sometime in the next few days. Don't worry...I won't forget anything... =o)
Okay so I will just do a bit of an update on the last few weeks for us since we came home from Georgia. Well, the very first week we were home was insanely busy. I mean...busy. Dog tired passing out at 11 (hey that's early for us!) early. YIKES...so what did we do? Well, the day after we got home dh left to go on a week long trip. So I was left to fend for myself lol the first day we were home we had a Girl Scout event where we went to the Delta and took an "ecotour" on an air boat. First...the trip was at 8:30 at night. Next...it's an airboat...and if you've never been on one, hey, they are SO cool. We had a really nice tour guide and he did some tricks on the boat for us, and you just wouldn't believe how maneuverable these things are...he would slide across the delta and WOW! It was just cool...so what did we see on our ecotour? Well, they told us about some of the local birds and showed us how SHALLOW the water really was (some parts it was only 4-6 inches deep! But of course, the main thing we were all there to see was the alligators! The trip did not disappoint! We literally saw dozens of gators of all different sizes. From little baby ones to the biggest we saw which was about 10 feet long. We got RIGHT up to that one and he jumped when we got there...it was the COOLEST thing ever. We didn't get done there until well after 10:30 and then we went to IHOP and got a munch. Someone asked me "when does school start" at the restaurant and I told him that I wasn't sure, we homeschooled so our school never stops =o) The kids LOVED the tour and the only thing they didn't like was that Dad didn't get to go. My negative? In spite of liberal application of insect repellant I ended up with about 12 mosquito bites. I know, I know you don't have to tell me, I hate when I get them now with all of the scares running around...They got me all around my ankles and feet...which is so weird because I really did spray them down with repellant...none on my arms or anywhere else...makes one go...hmmm...
The next day we went to sign up for the kid's gymnastics class for the new quarter. We went to the grocery store and Sam's Club which was quite an adventure! We ended up getting one of those spur of the moment storms that just sweep up on you without realizing...so while we were standing in line at Sam's to check out the power went off...three times. The storm was crazy I tell you what...I had the front guard watch the kids while I pulled the car up under the awning...but I was scared to tell you the truth. It was a crazy storm and ended up lasting over an hour and half. I was thankful to get home...it rained the rest of the night and I didn't get to unload groceries until well after midnight that night. (I of course had brought in the fridge and freezer stuff)
Thursday saw us going to our first homeschool group meeting of the year. We have joined as an associate with a local church which I am so excited about. The families we have met so far are simply amazing...while the folks I have met here in town are not the most friendliest, the people a little north more than make up for it! They offer tons of opportunities for fellowship and activities for the kids...very open minded and supportive. The pastor himself spoke to the group that night and his message was so heartwarming. There were well over a hundred people there, families of all different backgrounds and sizes and whatnot. It was a blessing to me in a million ways--AND my children were wonderful. I was so proud of them...I knew it was hard to sit still and be quiet for the two plus hours but they did...C even fell asleep on my lap. They played tag afterward with the group of children. This was a wonderful "homeschool" day.
The next two or three days saw me knee deep in cleaning. When I go away I GO away...in case anyone hadn't noticed I don't do "two day trips" lol I do two or three weeks...so when we pack we pack ALOT. Couple that with the fact that we never seem to come home with JUST what we left with lol then you can imagine how hard it is to UNpack. It literally took me three days to get dug out and things manageable again. Dh got home that Sunday night.
Then on the 11th I turned 32. Hmm...truth be told I really expected this aging thing to be much more traumatic than it really is. I feel 32. I feel like I have earned the right to be in my "thirties". I'm not a "youngin" anymore...I'm still learning, shoot, we all are...it's not that...it's just that I guess I am rooted. I don't sway too much away from what I think is right whether it's spiritually, ethically, morally, or just "cause"...I just am me. I am happy with me today. I have overcome some things in my life that have strengthened me. I have fought battles that few know about...I have come to a point where I stand on the top of a mountain of opposition and I say "YEEHAW BABY!" I'm me...I don't apologize for it...I waller in it LOL (I really do think waller is a word...you know...wallering...yup) At any rate...32 is a number and I'm happy with it. Okay I know you want to know what I got! I will get to that but first I have to tell you about the cards I got. I got cards from so many family and they were all so special to me--I am so blessed with such a loving and thoughtful family!! THEN...the cards I got from my dh and children were the icing on the cake...talk about the sweetest EVER. Now they were all super sweet cards I mean they really were, but I have to tell you about the one that B made for me. I knew when we were at home in GA that he had some sort of secret project going on and I was ordered not to go into the computer room at any cost without telling him or Dad. Hmm...well, it sort of slipped my mind and I forgot about it. When I opened the card from B I was overwhelmed. He made a card for me on my Mom's cardmaker program. The front of it says "Thanks for being there all my life!" and it has these lovely nature scenes on it. The inside has pictures of old country churches and says (I'm writing it JUST as it was written in the card) "when I was young you were always there to help when I got a boo-boo, you were always there to help when I was sick, now that I got older you were always there to help when I had problems with friends, you were always there to help when I needed to talk, when I get thirteen or fourteen I am sure that you'll be there to help, you are the best Mom, love you, B." <----pause for the impact to seep in----> Wow...what can I say except I am so blessed. That was the sweetest thing in the whole world to me and I will treasure it forever. I know it has a lot to do with how dh treats me that B picks up on those thoughtful gestures. Okay now about presents--dh had said he had something he wanted to buy and took money out of the bank...I knew he took the kids to the store too...well, they wrapped these bunch of packages in the cutest Winnie the Pooh paper and put toilet candy (you know those cheap white things you hand on the side of your toilet bowl? I LOVE the smell of them which is probably a really bad thing lol) on the top of the presents instead of bows lol they are so cool. I got a hot water pot (for making tea) because mine had died which was cool, two books I had really been wanting, some bath/body things, and then it was the big one that they made me wait until last for. Now...flashback to three months ago when we had went over to the flea market to look for a knife dh was wanting. I walked past a stand that had these absolutely gorgeous carvings of giraffes--a Mommy one with a baby one stretching it's neck up to her. They were made out of one piece of wood--carved intricately and just GORGEOUS. I fell in love with them...but they were almost $30 and I wasn't prepared to spend that kind of money on something I didn't need lol but I did admire them. Well, when I opened the last gift it was one of those giraffes. I literally was floored. If someone had offered me a million dollars to guess what dh had gotten me I would have NEVER suspected this...months had passed, *I* had pretty much forgotten about them--but dh didn't and he went back there and got me one! Now Mommy and baby sit on my desk so I can admire them when I work. He is the most thoughtful man in the world!
Okay so also on my b-day we went to the Exploreum with our homeschool group--and let me tell you we were a formidable group...no less than 70 kids in attendance with their Moms (and a few Dad's too--dh had to work) Before we went there we met at a local church and watched a Christian movie called "Raising the Allosaur". I had to get up at 6:00 am to get there. I'm SO glad I did! The movie was AWESOME!!! It was about a father and his two adult sons who are paleontologists and they happen to also be Christians. They take families out to dig sites and allow them the chance to work on a real dinosaur dig (one of my future adventures God willing!) They had been on a dig for over a week and were fixing to have to close up shop. They had three sites and two of them had been very productive but the other one where they suspected they would find an allosaur hadn't turned up ANY fossils. It was nearing late afternoon on the last scheduled day for the expedition and still hadn't had any luck. Then a young girl and her father discovered a claw. This gave them renewed hope and the father and two sons knelt right there on the ground they were digging in, took each others hands and prayed the most beautiful prayer about how they desired to find this specimen to further the glory of God...that they asked Him to guide their hands that they might find this fossil that it could be a tool to further His kingdom and break down some of the secular walls in science. Within 15 minutes they found the scull. Praise God! As it turned out they were able to get the whole thing out and now this particular bone set is put to use across the US to show God's hand in creation. It was a powerful movie and just awesome to watch...I would LOVE to get to gon one of those digs one day when the children are older. I can't think of many things that would be more memorable. So after that we went to the Exploreum where the exhibit was dinosaurs of course. Now I don't know about ya'll but I haven't ever seen REAL dinosaur bones before...and OH MY!!! They are SO much bigger than I had imagined!! The whole exhibit was totally awesome!! There were some "scientific facts" which I dispute but overall it was a very educational and informative tour.
So let's see...after my b-day I geared up for B's. He decided that this year he didn't want a big party--instead he just wanted presents in place of the party we would have paid for. Works for us! So we got him several ps2 games and some toys he'd been wanting...we had some of them for almost a year lol I tend to buy things when they are clearanced after Christmas and put them up for later b-days and whatnot. Hey it has worked so far but this year I didn't get the chance to do that so I am already "behind" for Christmas right now...don't scoff...it's only 4 months away. The big news was that B turned 10. Double digits! YIKES!!! It doesn't seem even remotely possible that my baby boy is growing up and yet he sure is. He's such a neat kid too...he's a blessing to be raising and I thank God always for the opportunity to be his Mom! I look so forward to watching him become the man God is preparing him to be.
Well, let me think...dh got underway again on the 18th and isn't due home until the 3rdish. Worse than that is that every time he calls it costs $1 per minute because he's out of the country. EEK! So it's been a long week and a half so far. Last week we all vegged and didn't really go out much or anything. We got a lot done around home and we spent a whole bunch of time drawing and reading and playing games. Yesterday we started back to gymnastics which went really well. Both B & R are doing REALLY good and of course the most asked ? by C is when she will be 5 lol After we went to the class we went to the park and played for a while...stopped and got hotdogs from Krystal's since we hadn't eaten out in over a week and then came home. I cleaned up the kitchen, emptied the litter pan, and then helped the girls brush the hair on their Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty dolls...dh called and I talked to him for a few minutes when I looked down and saw my ring...my wedding ring...the one that dh and I worked a year to buy...(and no it's not a $5000-10,000 ring here...it was about $650--on sale of course but still not a million dollar ring--but we were in high school and that's a heckuva lotta money for kids)...and something was wrong...the main diamond in the engagement ring was GONE...a series of "Oh my God" and "Oh Lord Please" and whatnot ensued until I had worked myself up into a full blown frenzy with mass hysterical tears and crawling on the floor searching endlessly for said diamond. Dh was supportive telling me that anything can be replaced and stuff but I admit at the time I was inconsolable. I called my Mom and she talked to me too (thanks Mom)...I know all they said was true but my heart is still a little broken over it. I don't know how to explain why this bothers me so much...That was MY ring. I LOVED IT. I NEVER took it off, I knew that I would NEVER lose it because I never ever took it off...not for anything and the only times I HAD to were when I was pregnant toward the end that I couldn't wear them for the swelling...but I would still wear them around my neck. I loved my ring. It was unique, and it was ME...it was the sweetest gift and my dh put it on my finger the day we were married and I never ever meant to change it. When my friends were all upgrading their rings to new ones, dh asked me if I wanted a new ring (this was several years ago now, around our 10th anniversary) and I told him in no uncertain terms that I didn't need another ring that THIS ring was the one I would have my whole lifetime...end of story. It wasn't a big expensive flashy diamond ring...but it was the most special ring in the whole world. I had to take it off last night because I knew the prongs might hurt one of the children--and it was the hardest thing to do in the whole world. My finger feels naked without it. I dug through my jewelry box and found the first ring dh ever gave me...it was our first Christmas together (we were 15) and he bought me a gold ring, very thin...tiny little thing, with two hearts with a teeny tiny speck of a diamond in the middle. He worked all summer and fall to earn the money mowing yards to buy this ring for me. I have it on now on my finger and will wear it until we figure out how to handle the loss of my diamond. It doesn't have the same feel as my normal ring, in fact it's so small it's hard to tell it's there but when I look down at my hand it does exactly what it is supposed to do...it reminds me of that precious boy who put his sweat and heart and soul into buying me a precious token of his affection at the age of 15...the same one who at 21 slipped on the ring I would wear until yesterday...the same one who takes such good care of me and who I am missing tremendously right now--knowing that he will be gone for our 12th anniversary...and still...I'm okay today. I'm resolved I will not find that diamond. It's impossible. I've looked and I have prayed and asked that God will just set a peace in my heart about it. So many worst things could have happened...I know that. So now...I'm okay...still a litle sad about it...but okay.
So with that said, I'll put the words to two songs that God played for me today that dh had dedicated to me in the last few months....God's gentle reminders that the ring is just a SYMBOL...it isn't what makes me married.
First one by Lonestar "Front porch looking in":
The only ground I ever owned was sticking to my shoes
Now I look at my front porch and this panoramic view
I can sit and watch the fields fill up
With rays of glowing sun
Or watch the moon lay on the fences
Like that's where it was hung
My blessings are in front of me
It's not about the land
I'll never beat the view
From my front porch looking in
There's a carrot top who can barely walk
With a sippy cup of milk
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong
'Cause she likes to dress herself
And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
And the view I love the most
Is my front porch looking in, yeah
I've traveled here and everywhere
Following my job
I've seen the paintings from the air
Brushed by the hand of God
The mountains and the canyons reach from sea to shining sea
But I can't wait to get back home
To the one he made for me
It's anywhere I'll ever go and everywhere I've been
Nothing takes my breath away
Like my front porch looking in
There's a carrot top who can barely walk
With a sippy cup of milk
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong
'Cause she likes to dress herself
And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
Yeah the view I love the most
Is my front porch looking in
I see what beautiful is about
When I'm looking in
Not when I'm looking out
There's a carrot top who can barely walk
With a sippy cup of milk
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong
'Cause she likes to dress herself
And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
Yeah the view I love the most
Oh, the view I love the most
Is my front porch looking in
Yeah
Oh, there's a carrot top who can barely walk
(From my front porch looking in)
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong, yeah
And the most beautiful girl
(Beautiful girl
From my front porch looking in)
Holding both of them
Oh, yeah
And then this one by Steven Curtis Chapman "How do I love her"
Well you know it's not the first time
And it will not be the last
When You find me here on my knees
Praying for the storm to pass
But what I am really needing
Is much more than just relief
I am crying out for wisdom
Only You can give to me
Cause it's such a mystery
I'm a clueless man
When it comes
To knowing how to love a woman
CHORUS:
How do I love her?
How do I let her know she means more than anything to me?
How do I love her?
Out of all the gifts You've given
Besides the very gift of life
There is none as precious to me
As the treasure of my wife
And still all the love in my heart
Is like a raindrop to the sea
When compared to Your love for her
And thats why I ask You please
Will You teach me what she needs
I'm a earnest man
When it comes
To learning how to love this woman
CHORUS
Well I know it's gonna to take a lifetime
To answer this prayer I pray
But that's okay
Cause I've given You and her my lifetime anyway
CHORUS
Won't you tell me, tell me please
~sniff~ He's a blessing and there's NO doubt that he was made by God for me. I am so thankful for him!!!!! So...I'm off to prepare dinner (meatloaf tonight) and do some school work with the kids...oh and one other thing--I have a new client...more work, more work, but good news...shoot maybe it will get me a new ring!! lol =o)
I love you all so much and thank you for your patience as I have been so busy with life and living, learning and teaching, growing, and going....and of course missing all of you!
Be blessed dear ones!
~A
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